- Alan Dershowitz
"I've made a severe and continuous lapse in judgement, from which I do not expect to be forgiven."
- Logan Paul
JOIN THE BIG SOY PRAYER CIRCLE
Send us emails please @ email@example.com or call/text us @ 609-285-3495
Once again I am in women's business and getting in my head about how a life lived online, in spaces run by capitalists, encourages us to dehumanize others and ourselves. I pose zero solutions besides commmunism but I'm right for doing so.
If you're not our friend but you're a fellow [redacted] and you want to be on here, just send us an email @ firstname.lastname@example.org and if you're not a freak we'll throw you on up. We have lamented the demise of small internet ad nauseum, and one of the best things about small internet was the way that people connected and collaborated with others that had similar interests. We're always down for more sexy genius friends!
VALIDATE is an upcoming dating sim game that lets you play as a number of sexy and cringe individuals as you navigate dating, heartbreak and love in Jercy City. It's coming out SOON but the actual release date is still TBD so be sure to follow the game on social media to get updates, it would be so sad if you missed it.
EATING FOR FREE is a podcast which is a part of the extended Girls and Gays content universe and is reporting live from the absolute edge of the internet. Joan and Matt are two of the most thoughtful, funny and intelligent people alive and every episode is a treat which will make you scream at the horrors of global capital and fit tea influencers joining forces. One part gossip blog, one part political commentary, all parts coming together for a truly transcendental experience.
MECHANICAL FREAK is also a sexy unique podcast that demands your rapt attention. It covers some local Seattle and Washington politics and culture but has also set its sights on tackling the world at large. Even if you don't live in Seattle, it is very worth checking out as that city is currently vying for the #1 spot in billionaire havens and their perspective as Seattle denizens makes their commentary on wider events all the more illuminating. The Mechanical Freak hosts flawlessly execute the not-easy feat of being genuinely educational while also being very fun. Ceres guests sometimes! And at the moment they're putting out a series going through Greg Grandin's book End of Myth chapter by chapter, helping end the sad state of illiteracy within the podcast listening community.
SAM TAUB is the hottest they/he the midwest has to offer and one of the only valid biracials alongside Ceres. In addition to that, they're a virgo. In addition to that, he's one of the best writers we know and has so many good thoughts to share about Fight Club and Harry Styles. Sam is a part of the extended Girls and Gays Content Universe and they have some *very exciting* projects coming out that they have tantalizingly not yet announced. On Sam's page you'll find that he truly is a jack of all trades and a master of all trades as he has guested on many podcasts, written fiction, literary criticism and other genius-level essays. They're also a writer for the upcoming game Validate!
QUEERING THE GUILLOTINE is a pop culture podcast by two queer members of the proletariat suffering under heteronormativity. Basically they talk about anime and manga in the most insightful way. Get ready to be put on to new things you'll love and learn more deeply about things you already enjoy. New episodes out every other Thursday!
ANGEL RUST MAG is a new, queer-led magazine based in Virginia, US. They publish exciting, challenging, and edgy work in poetry, fiction, and non-fiction, with a particular interest in transgressive or experimental short stories, strong-hearted essays or critiques, and radical poems in any form from writers with unique perspectives and an unshakable fearlessness. Best part? They're looking for submissions! Go submit your work to them!! New issues come out every two months.
SUNNY SOIL FLOWERS is a super dope fully qualified florist. We highly recommend following their instagram simply to see pictures of their incredible work with flowers, but they will also be posting opportunities to BUY their work from time to time. Keep an eye out and Ceres' favorite flowers are sunflowers if you're looking to buy one of us a gift.
Hello friends, my name is Ceres and I'm 1/2 of Big Soy Naturals
I am a pisces-scorpio-libra and my favorite color used to be pink but I think it might be green now.
I love platform shoes and drinking coffee from a giant cup and not finishing it.
I like Norman Finkelstein, Andrea Dworkin, Revolutionary Girl Utena and The Leftovers.
Everyday I am heartbroken that Neo Yokio has not gotten a second season.
My music taste is all over the place but I am into math rock and hyperpop a lot. My favorite album is The Emergency & I by The Dismemberment Plan and lately I have been listening to Caroline Polachek's Pang over and over.
My introduction to online started with a voracious appetite for more Sailor Moon episodes and the way my mind was cracked open like an egg when I learned that Sailor Moon was anime and anime came from Japan (I was like 5 when I started watching on toonami and the dub gave them very Irish-American names like Molly and they were always eating noodles which to me signaled Italian so I thought they were in New Jersey because I was also in New Jersey and I've always had a big ego).
Learning that what I had been enjoying on cartoon network was a dubbed over version of a Japanese language animation meant that if I could find illicit fansubs, I could go beyond the same 20 or so episodes that were being syndicated. It was truly a narnia moment for me, and I traversed through dedicated angelfires and geocities and watched every episode I could get my hands on out of order and I did this for years. At each stage of my journey I got better at stealing copyrighted content from the internet which is a skill of high value that I allegedly use to this very day.
Everywhere I went, I lied about being 15 because it seemed like a very sophisticated age to me as someone younger, and by the time I reached my actual 13th birthday - which coincidentally or not is also when I became an adult in the eyes of my faiths - I had finally seen every episode of Sailor Moon. This process was incredibly gratifying to me, and it genuinely took a village to get there. What I took for granted in this somewhat kafkaesque quest was something that is no longer a feature of online today which was community-driven internet infrastructure. The internet was newer then, so all of these fansites and forums were built from the ground up by other fans. The official english translation of the series was homophobic and stopped at season 3 anyway, so Japanese speakers put together their own unofficial dubs and subs, which were then shared covertly in locked forums and password-protected pages so as to not draw the ire of entertainment lawyers or whoever.
Around the same time, I was becoming famous (!!!) which was very exciting to me since I went to an all-white elementary school and as the above paragraph demonstrates I was also a little bit intense about my interests so naturally I didn't have any friends. This was especially sad to me as a Sailor Moon fan since the whole series is about how friendships can transform you into a better version of yourself and literally bring you back to life and save you from a career of evil villainy or villain minionry.
But I digress - I was becoming Neopets famous which was a real thing I promise! There was even a gossip neopets-page that was dedicated to posting salacious things about myself and my neofriends. I, of course, was constantly sending it anonymous tips about myself much like how these days Addison Rae is alerting the paparazzi to her current address at all times. Everyone wanted to be in one of my guilds on Neopets because I designed our guild pages in this cutesy pixel style that I'm 99% was invented on Neopets for Neopets. Most of my guilds were art guilds or Lord of the Rings roleplay guilds because that was one of my other favorite things. LOTR is also a series about friendship so maybe there was something vicarious happening....idk.
That aforementioned collaborative spirit was very much alive on Neopets as well, which as a devout communist I have to appreciate. Being a website (run by the Church of Scientology for a time!) made for children, there was a little more handholding in place but it was considered a little gauche to use one of the premade-by-Neopets guild layouts or user lookup pages. On Neopets, artistic, game or web skill was currency and CLOUT which is something I have dedicated my life around amassing from a very young age. And having those valued skills was how I amassed it. I learned pretty basic HTML and CSS which was enough for me to set up something useable for the guilds I ran centered around my LOTR pixel art. Other people would play games to acquire lots of neopoints and rare items and trade those for higher guild positions or for custom art or coding for their own pages. There was a sense that we were all crucial to making the site a fun place to hang out and it pushed me to become a better writer and artist in order to participate meaningfully.
However, as you all know, nostalgia is fake and a liar and I will do self-crit right now and admit to being a somethingawful head AND a 4chan freak. The thing about having no friends in real life is that it turns you bitter! I was a hater and not in the cool way that I am now, but more like a bully without victims although not for lack of trying. My own experience of being ceaselessly bullied also taught me that it was cringe to be earnest about anything, so of course 4chan which made weaponized apathy its entire ethos was a perfect place for me. People like to pretend that during the time I was online there which was like slightly late Bush Presidency era into the early Obama years that it was not full of bigotry and was a completely different place than it is now. I would say it was not *as* full of bigotry, but the seeds were always there. A lot of people making the same jokes about being equally racist against everyone and gay slurs were baked into the overall vernacular. I can just fully cop to the fact that I liked being in those spaces because it gave me a fleeting feeling of superiority to other people which was valuable to me at a time when I was usually being made to feel inferior.
I traded in one form of extremism for another when I got on tumblr in 2009. I found it by way of livejournal, which I was looking at for gothic outfit inspiration. Tumblr was not my introduction to social justice exactly since I was raised on radical theorists as bedtime stories, but it did help me contextualize a lot of social justice ideas into my real life and how I should treat other people rather than just abstract theories. A lot of what I learned was useful. I developed empathy for things I hadn't even thought of before and I learned accessible entry points to feminism, anti-racism and trans advocacy that I continue to actively build on today. I also learned a lot of people need to just shut up and someone should tell them do so.
My experience on tumblr taught me the importance of chasing citations and thinking for myself while approaching those things with a framework of compassion. What I mean by this is that a lot of people on tumblr were making shit up constantly and also using social justice spaces as a place to work out personal trauma. The dichotomy of good vs bad or problematic vs unproblematic was pervasive and ubiquitous. Those attitudes were very easily transformed into anti-intellectualism and I had to make the conscious decision to engage with things which were deemed "bad" to know and understand fully why something is harmful rather than to drop something once it was deemed problematic. Making the choice to engage with media that way while also developing a more coherent set of radical principles allowed me to sexily and geniusly critique media while consuming it at the same time.
Tumblr was another place where I grew a fanbase but it happened in a way that ultimately I found pretty disturbing and dehumanizing and it is definitely my brush with tumblr stardom that led me down a path of keeping my head down online afterwards.
What I'm excited to get to do with Big Soy Naturals is share some of the internet lore that you either missed or purposefully forgot and connect it to online and IRL phenomena that's happening today. The internet is NOT forever as those of us with photobucket accounts have learned to our great sorrow. I also hope to encourage everyone to find opportunities to collaborate and create more - OFF the Big Internet which is only a bad place with no liberatory potential. And full offense, I want it known that everyone that is paid to talk about online is not as smart as me. Okay! That's all, have fun, see you later!
I am a virgo sun and moon with a cancer rising, my favorite colors are slime/booger green and lilac purple
I love vhs tapes, bell bottom pants and leaving towels on the floor
I like Carmen Maria Machado, Donna Harraway, Olia Lialina, King of the Hill and Rollercoaster Tycoon
I am dumb whore with terrible taste, but also I'm a huge snob
If I ever stop talking about campy b grade horror movies consider me dead, I have passed on.
My taste is wide and varried and that includes country music. I like a lot of punk rock, hyperpop, and indie. Right now I'm listening to Machine Girl, Inigo De Souza, Kate NV, and Sleigh Bells' new album Texis
I adore videogames yes I am a gamer. I love Hypnospace Outlaw, Cruelty Squad, Eastward, Resident Evil, DISCO ELYSIUM (#1 fave), Cloud Gardens, Stardew Valley, and Power Washing Simulator.
my beginnings with the internet are kinda hazy. I believe from the age of four I was playing CD-ROM games (mostly LEGO related) and I graduated to puzzle games like Carmen Sandiego and the Nancy Drew series as I got older. Whenever I would get stuck I would look up tutorials online and eventually I started trolling forums, finding pages on geocities, playing flash dress up games, finding lewd art on deviantart and newgrounds, and generally being a little menace wherever I could.
Unlike Ceres, I didn't gain fame on the internet until recently with (ugh) TikTok at over 25k followers. I did however, catfish a number of girls and boys on Club Penguin, Habbo Hotel, GaiaOnline, and participated in numerous Neopets schemes (i definitely took part in creating artificial inflation in the in-world stock market). My mom refused to let me get a Myspace because she was worried I would get exploited on there and manipulated by adults.
Little did she know elsewhere on the internet, I was inviting 5 penguins back to my igloo to break up with all of them at once and then physically left to go microwave some pizza rolls while they all fought over me.
When I got on tumblr, I became a big fandom blogger. Mainly for Doctor Who and X Files. I, by consequence, also became a Superwholock, minus the "super" part (supernatural just seemed like one very long car commercial to me). I also started writing "funny" fan fic and eventually got my 2k follower fanfiction dot net account take down because I was writing SVU fan fic where Stabler and Benson would recite pages from the Bionicle wiki while fucking. SVU fans didnt like that much. I also got super into "hipster" fashion which then evolved into my current love for vintage 70's jumpsuits.
Tumblr fandom culture seemed mostly innocent from the outset,and for the most part, fanaticism for sci-fi really is. but it created a pathway for me to become unhealthily attached to the media I consumed. With the infamous Dashcon Incident, coinciding with me entering the early stages of college, I began to grow out of fanaticism and began exploring the world of media literacy and critical theory, and also communism (s/o tumblr user paxamericana for giving me several very helpful pdfs via dm one time years ago. you probably don't remember me, but you started this journey!)
Being Chronically Online,I learned the importance of following knowledge, getting the real answers and media literacy. I also blossomed socially and politically as I made a ton of friends that I still have to this day. And as someone who grew up socially inept and very lonely, it was absolutely essential to me becoming the hot sexy communist I am. In fact, my IRL spouse often says "you have this unnerving knack for making friends and fostering friendships online, it's so easy for you it's almost scary." That scary ability, btw, is how Ceres and I met!
I think there were a lot of problems with the early net: homophobia, racism and transphobia were rampant, post-9/11 caused a surge of flash torture games to pop up, it allowed me and countless others my age and older to become numb to disturbing and shocking imagery. But I also feel there was more of a sense of community through real human effort (such as coding a website, chatting on forums, creating webrings, all the things neocities is trying to bring back). There was greater effort to be creative not just in what you post, but in what you do. Direct (Cyber) Action!
Because of my love for the old net, I'm a huge advocate for digital archiving and internet history. I believe studying Internet History is a multi-disciplinary work that a lot of "mainstream" writers and creators in the space aren't doing that work justice. And I hope we can do that on Big Soy Naturals (while of course, being hilarious and hot)!
Shrine Pages Coming Soon
"the idea that you should invest time into building your corner of cyberspace was mercilessly suppressed by hosting and service providers & founders of the internet. there was no time in history when building your home was celebrated and acknowledged by opinion leaders. please acknowledge that people who built these homes, houses, cottages, places, realms, crypts, lairs, worlds, worlds, worlds, worlds and other dimensions were challenging the architechture and the protocols in a figurative if not practical meaning of this word. users hijacked the first homepage of the browser and developed this concept into another direction. a user builiding, moving in, taking control over territory was never a plan. it was a subversive practice also in 1995
i have a message for those who decided to make their webpages in 2020: what you make is a statement, is an act of emancipation. you make it to continue a 25 y/o tradition of liberation. don't see it as nostalgia."
Tech Learning Collective The Tech Learning Collective offers free foundational practice labs and lessons on computer literacy, aimed overall using tech for radical community work. From their website: "Founded and operated exclusively by radical queer and femme technologists, we offer unparalleled free, by-donation, and low-cost computer classes on topics ranging from fundamental computer literacy to the same offensive computer hacking techniques used by national intelligence agencies and military powers (cyber armies)." uhhhhh fucking sick. Also unlike the yucky tech bootcamps that just want to teach you how to code through memorization exercises you can then recite ad nauseum to your future silicon valley boss, TLC uses kinetic, experience based learning. Way more fun and engaging. Really recommend checking out their free foundations tab to start your own self-paced computer lab!